Ellie Goulding Suffered Severe Panic Attacks: I Never Wanted to Be Seen as Weak

Ellie Goulding Suffered Severe Panic Attacks: I Never Wanted to Be Seen as Weak

Ellie Goulding wears a crop top to show off her abs on the cover of Self magazine’s July 2014 issue!

Here’s what the 28-year-old singer had to share with the mag:

On suffering from panic attacks in the spotlight: “I was torn between that really simple life and this life of madness. My brain was getting all these crazy signals, and I’d have these faux heart attacks that felt real. There was so much adrenaline being pumped into my body that, in any normal situation, I felt as if I had to fight or flee. On my way to the studio, I’d have to cover my face in the car with a pillow. I couldn’t shop, couldn’t go outside, couldn’t see people, because there were just so many triggers. And I didn’t want to tell anyone, because I just felt so stupid. I never wanted people to see me as weak.”

On dating Dougie Poynter: “I’ve definitely met someone. You get to know someone who makes you very happy and then you go away [on tour], right when it was just getting somewhere awesome. It’s not fun, but we can make it work. Love is beyond everything, beyond the universe.”

On being a singer: “I always liked singing, but it never occurred to me that it could be a real job. So when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d say ‘I’m going to be an actress,’ in this fake posh accent that I’d learned from watching period dramas. I started playing guitar to impress a guy, but all of a sudden I was more engrossed in the guitar than the guy, and playing it became my everything. It was a big deal, because I started singing my own songs.”

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Credit: David Gubert for SELF
Posted to: Ellie Goulding, Magazine

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