Lele Pons Emotionally Opens Up About Online Bullying & Having Suicidal Thoughts Because of It

Lele Pons is opening up about the effects of online bullying.

In the latest episode of her docu-series, The Secret Life of Lele Pons, the 23-year-old opened up about constantly getting hate online for being Latina and how it caused her to have suicidal thoughts.

“It’s already bad enough having bad comments, but having OCD to actually make you check and just don’t move, kind of not move on from what’s going on,” she says. “It’s just annoying because it’s always the same comments. I’m not talented enough, I’m not funny, I’m not pretty, I’m not this, I’m not that, I’m whatever. Everything I do, I use being a Latina as a popularity or something.”

“I don’t like that people hate on me for being proud of being who I am. Why is it so bad for me to love being who I am? And love being Latina?” Lele continues. “The only thing my parents taught me was never to forget who you are and where you come from. And people are now making that a joke, and they just don’t understand that it hurts!”

“When did it all become so evil? And then what’s happening here is that people are making hating me cool. It’s hard,” she said before crying. “It’s so hard, because I’m so tired of whatever I do, it can be 10 years go by and I do everything right, but there’s always going to be people that are just gonna be so mean to me for no reason.”

“You know what? Sometimes, and this is true, sometimes you just want to fall asleep and, and I don’t know how… Sometimes I black out and I just want to end it,” Lele says. “Let me tell you something, I’ve had suicidal thoughts because I can’t take it, I can’t take the hate. The thing is, when you have so many comments, you start also believing them, and then you start questioning yourself if you are worthy even of living, you know?”

“Every time I want to do something bad to myself, I think of my two cousins. I don’t want to let them down, because we’re all we have, each other. Like, after our moms go away, they have me and I have them,” Lele added about what pulls her out of that dark place.